so it's been a rather eventful week. i've been feeling slightly exhausted from my sexual adventures. i think i need to go see my friends and not deal with boys for a while.

i spent the day on tuesday with boyfriend number one, we had a rather romantic day out and then came back to mine and he was actually in the mood for once and we ended up having quick passionate sex. but no orgasms. i sometimes am beginning to feel that although we do have good sex, i'm not having any orgasms whatsoever and i'm wondering if he doesn't seem that bothered if i'm really really enjoying it or not.

wednesday i spent the day with boyfriend four, we met up and went into town, hung out which is a nice change as i've been worried i'm making myself look like i'm just easy and it's just a sex thing, which makes the whole thing a little seedy at times. i guess i want to maintain some dignity. not that there's much dignity left. we came back to mine and ended up having sex, which was amazing but too fast then we went back to his place and he made me a nice dinner, watched a film and then we had sex twice before i left and went back to boyfriend number one's. the third time we had sex i came, which was so good as i haven't come during sex for a while. theres something about boyfriend four but the sex is actually incredible. we end up doing it in a variety of positions, but i seem to only be able to come when he's inside me and i'm touching myself. boyfriend four can be quite extremely kinky at times though, energetic and fast but sometimes sweet and romantic by softly touching me and stroking me after sex. it's a nice combination of sex.

i have also started speaking again to boyfriend number two, (the ex), he's not been talking to me for a while as he knows about a few of my antics and he's been mad at me for the fact i'm treating boyfriend number one the same way i did with him. which i know is bad, but its weird but everytime boyfriend two and i meet up we just sometimes get carried away. i think its because he's emotional and so am i, and we both just want to feel close again but we could never be together properly again.

i've been thinking about it a lot though, and i don't know if i had to choose out of all four of them to save from death i think i'd pick boyfriend number two. is that weird i wouldn't pick number one? my real boyfriend? i think it's because i've known boyfriend number two longest and we've done so much together and have so much history, and in some ways although our relationship is very much tainted, i know we couldn't be together again it doesn't mean i still don't have feelings for him or feel attached to him. i know he's been with other girls, and i've been with other guys and we both know this but it doesn't mean if i were to see him with a new girlfriend i wouldn't be hurt. exboyfriends are confusing cards to play.