i have a question. do all guys automatically cheat if given the chance? and is cheating really the same these days?
i ended up pulling an old flame of mine from years back on friday. i was 15/16 and he was 16/17. which feels like an entire lifetime ago now. it was a one night thing. and after that we didn't talk and i ended up in my first long term relationship whilst he went travelling and lived across the world for a long period. he even found a girlfriend who came across to live here for a while, before she had to leave. but he's been back for a couple of years now.
we were at this party and although i was little drunk and high, and he turned up. i didn't really have any intention to try to pull him. if i had to say anything it was more the other way round. although all his friends know he has a girlfriend who he is apparently madly in love with. we were looking at an atlas on the bed, and he just kind of leant in and kissed my cheek and i turned away. it was a bit slightly weird for me. i said to him don't you have a girlfriend? and he said don't you have a boyfriend? and i say yes, and we ended up pulling regardless. he seemed quite keen to take me home that night but i ended up leaving with my friend instead but gave him my number.
he called me during the day on saturday, which surprised me as i kind of thought maybe it would have been left at that. i went out on saturday night, and i ended up meeting up with him in the early hours of the morning and went back to his and chatted about being a teenager again. and then we inevitably ended up having amazing sex. but he told me hadn't had sex since his girlfriend left which was almost a year. it was a bit strange having sex with him as it was like almost reliving a time long dead. quite bizarre. i think i was pretty taken aback when he said i was beautiful and that he was surprised when me and my first boyfriend ended up going out together for years, and that he was waiting for us to break up. also he said he's had some amazing sex but not as good with me. like huh?! what. are all guys happen to be full of shit and smooth talk? i think so.
we had sex twice the next day, and i came so hard the third time we had sex. boyfriend number one called me when i was still there and then his girlfriend called him long distance and i left while his girlfriend was on the phone chattering away and he gave me a quick passionate kiss before i left to do the walk of shame.
he's asked me to call him sometime this week, so we'll see...!
oh man. i don't get guys at all.
Monday 20 April 2009
Thursday 9 April 2009
so it's been a rather eventful week. i've been feeling slightly exhausted from my sexual adventures. i think i need to go see my friends and not deal with boys for a while.
i spent the day on tuesday with boyfriend number one, we had a rather romantic day out and then came back to mine and he was actually in the mood for once and we ended up having quick passionate sex. but no orgasms. i sometimes am beginning to feel that although we do have good sex, i'm not having any orgasms whatsoever and i'm wondering if he doesn't seem that bothered if i'm really really enjoying it or not.
wednesday i spent the day with boyfriend four, we met up and went into town, hung out which is a nice change as i've been worried i'm making myself look like i'm just easy and it's just a sex thing, which makes the whole thing a little seedy at times. i guess i want to maintain some dignity. not that there's much dignity left. we came back to mine and ended up having sex, which was amazing but too fast then we went back to his place and he made me a nice dinner, watched a film and then we had sex twice before i left and went back to boyfriend number one's. the third time we had sex i came, which was so good as i haven't come during sex for a while. theres something about boyfriend four but the sex is actually incredible. we end up doing it in a variety of positions, but i seem to only be able to come when he's inside me and i'm touching myself. boyfriend four can be quite extremely kinky at times though, energetic and fast but sometimes sweet and romantic by softly touching me and stroking me after sex. it's a nice combination of sex.
i have also started speaking again to boyfriend number two, (the ex), he's not been talking to me for a while as he knows about a few of my antics and he's been mad at me for the fact i'm treating boyfriend number one the same way i did with him. which i know is bad, but its weird but everytime boyfriend two and i meet up we just sometimes get carried away. i think its because he's emotional and so am i, and we both just want to feel close again but we could never be together properly again.
i've been thinking about it a lot though, and i don't know if i had to choose out of all four of them to save from death i think i'd pick boyfriend number two. is that weird i wouldn't pick number one? my real boyfriend? i think it's because i've known boyfriend number two longest and we've done so much together and have so much history, and in some ways although our relationship is very much tainted, i know we couldn't be together again it doesn't mean i still don't have feelings for him or feel attached to him. i know he's been with other girls, and i've been with other guys and we both know this but it doesn't mean if i were to see him with a new girlfriend i wouldn't be hurt. exboyfriends are confusing cards to play.
i spent the day on tuesday with boyfriend number one, we had a rather romantic day out and then came back to mine and he was actually in the mood for once and we ended up having quick passionate sex. but no orgasms. i sometimes am beginning to feel that although we do have good sex, i'm not having any orgasms whatsoever and i'm wondering if he doesn't seem that bothered if i'm really really enjoying it or not.
wednesday i spent the day with boyfriend four, we met up and went into town, hung out which is a nice change as i've been worried i'm making myself look like i'm just easy and it's just a sex thing, which makes the whole thing a little seedy at times. i guess i want to maintain some dignity. not that there's much dignity left. we came back to mine and ended up having sex, which was amazing but too fast then we went back to his place and he made me a nice dinner, watched a film and then we had sex twice before i left and went back to boyfriend number one's. the third time we had sex i came, which was so good as i haven't come during sex for a while. theres something about boyfriend four but the sex is actually incredible. we end up doing it in a variety of positions, but i seem to only be able to come when he's inside me and i'm touching myself. boyfriend four can be quite extremely kinky at times though, energetic and fast but sometimes sweet and romantic by softly touching me and stroking me after sex. it's a nice combination of sex.
i have also started speaking again to boyfriend number two, (the ex), he's not been talking to me for a while as he knows about a few of my antics and he's been mad at me for the fact i'm treating boyfriend number one the same way i did with him. which i know is bad, but its weird but everytime boyfriend two and i meet up we just sometimes get carried away. i think its because he's emotional and so am i, and we both just want to feel close again but we could never be together properly again.
i've been thinking about it a lot though, and i don't know if i had to choose out of all four of them to save from death i think i'd pick boyfriend number two. is that weird i wouldn't pick number one? my real boyfriend? i think it's because i've known boyfriend number two longest and we've done so much together and have so much history, and in some ways although our relationship is very much tainted, i know we couldn't be together again it doesn't mean i still don't have feelings for him or feel attached to him. i know he's been with other girls, and i've been with other guys and we both know this but it doesn't mean if i were to see him with a new girlfriend i wouldn't be hurt. exboyfriends are confusing cards to play.
Monday 6 April 2009
Introduction of myself and my significant others.
these are the memoirs of my sexual deviance which i have now decided to publish for all the world to read. at my own discretion.
to introduce myself i am a twenty something quite ordinary girl.
in terms of my love life, i have a boyfriend (who i call boyfriend number 1) of a very average six months. i have previously been in two very long term relationships. the first was over 2 years which totally mind fucked me right up till now and my second, well he's still lurking around at points. but we'll come to that bit later.
in the meanwhile, i also have boyfriend number 2, boyfriend number 3, and boyfriend number 4. boyfriend 2; is the ex of my second long term relationship. boyfriend 3; has been in and out of my life for about a year or so and i was rather hung up on him before i met boyfriend 1, but boyfriend 3 was quite caught up with his obsessive ex and wasn't looking for a serious relationship. boyfriend 4; i just met this year through a good friend of mine but we became quite good friends and turns out he is also amazing at sex and doesn't mind the fact i have a 'main' boyfriend.
i'm not going to go into too much details as tonight's story is about to kick me in the back.
so tonight; boyfriend number 3 turned up after a rather fair absence on his part. which i'm used to. he began speaking to me on im this evening and he said he needed to talk to me about something and could he come over. i said okay and got ready for him arriving as when we both meet up well... i know what to usually expect from his 'visit'. so when he came over we sat and had some tea, and then caught up about our daily lives. he's moving away next month to a different city. when i finally asked him what he had come over to tell me. and he announced that i might have chlamydia as he had found out from another of his girlfriends, (not the obsessive one he's still tied up with) who had recently found out she had had positive test. to be honest, i wasn't too shocked but slightly worried. as i know myself, there is a huge chance i may have an std already although i don't know which one would have given me one, but i guess it could be now pointed at him. he has had a test but he doesn't find out his results till next week, so hopefully he comes back negative. i hope.
after the awkward chat, things started to heat up and we rather (stupidly to some) ended up having sex regardless. but with a condom, readers! i am slightly responsible at the best of times. it was completely wrong and dumb, but utterly irresistible. not that stds are irresistible. :/ i think after the very long wait of not seeing boyfriend number 3 for a while had driven me crazy. i couldn't wait to kiss him or just feel his body against mine. he has this nice earthy smell about him and i love listening to all his philosophical theories with odd funny metaphor digs about biscuits (don't ask). i don't know if thats what turns me on or what. i love it when he comes and his whole body shakes, and with every press i make against him he trembles above me. i can't believe how good he feels inside of me and makes me gasp with pleasure.
anyways, apart from the complete hedonism the problem is... if boyfriend number three's test results are positive, how am i meant to explain that to all faithful boyfriend number one? or a matter of fact, boyfriend two and four?
FUCK!
to introduce myself i am a twenty something quite ordinary girl.
in terms of my love life, i have a boyfriend (who i call boyfriend number 1) of a very average six months. i have previously been in two very long term relationships. the first was over 2 years which totally mind fucked me right up till now and my second, well he's still lurking around at points. but we'll come to that bit later.
in the meanwhile, i also have boyfriend number 2, boyfriend number 3, and boyfriend number 4. boyfriend 2; is the ex of my second long term relationship. boyfriend 3; has been in and out of my life for about a year or so and i was rather hung up on him before i met boyfriend 1, but boyfriend 3 was quite caught up with his obsessive ex and wasn't looking for a serious relationship. boyfriend 4; i just met this year through a good friend of mine but we became quite good friends and turns out he is also amazing at sex and doesn't mind the fact i have a 'main' boyfriend.
i'm not going to go into too much details as tonight's story is about to kick me in the back.
so tonight; boyfriend number 3 turned up after a rather fair absence on his part. which i'm used to. he began speaking to me on im this evening and he said he needed to talk to me about something and could he come over. i said okay and got ready for him arriving as when we both meet up well... i know what to usually expect from his 'visit'. so when he came over we sat and had some tea, and then caught up about our daily lives. he's moving away next month to a different city. when i finally asked him what he had come over to tell me. and he announced that i might have chlamydia as he had found out from another of his girlfriends, (not the obsessive one he's still tied up with) who had recently found out she had had positive test. to be honest, i wasn't too shocked but slightly worried. as i know myself, there is a huge chance i may have an std already although i don't know which one would have given me one, but i guess it could be now pointed at him. he has had a test but he doesn't find out his results till next week, so hopefully he comes back negative. i hope.
after the awkward chat, things started to heat up and we rather (stupidly to some) ended up having sex regardless. but with a condom, readers! i am slightly responsible at the best of times. it was completely wrong and dumb, but utterly irresistible. not that stds are irresistible. :/ i think after the very long wait of not seeing boyfriend number 3 for a while had driven me crazy. i couldn't wait to kiss him or just feel his body against mine. he has this nice earthy smell about him and i love listening to all his philosophical theories with odd funny metaphor digs about biscuits (don't ask). i don't know if thats what turns me on or what. i love it when he comes and his whole body shakes, and with every press i make against him he trembles above me. i can't believe how good he feels inside of me and makes me gasp with pleasure.
anyways, apart from the complete hedonism the problem is... if boyfriend number three's test results are positive, how am i meant to explain that to all faithful boyfriend number one? or a matter of fact, boyfriend two and four?
FUCK!
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